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About Cologne

So, sexual-massage—right laugh, eh? Buncha pervs pretending it’s “therapy.” Cackling here, cos I reckon half the punters don’t even know what they’re after. Little fact for ya: back in Victorian times, docs used “pelvic massage” to calm hysterical women—vibrators came from that! Proper mad, innit? Imagine Dr. Knobfingers going, “Oh, just a medical rub-down, love.” Bet they nicked that excuse for centuries.

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I get kinda mad sometimes, when the tourists don’t see what makes this place epic. Like, come on, it's not just a dot on the map! Its streets are packed with history – some of which is wild and almost unbelievable. Sometimes I wander into restaurants on Mühlgasse – oh man, the food is addicting! Savory, spicy, and weirdly satisfying.

Czechia ends its dependence on Russian oil