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About Cologne

So, we’re sorted—*mimes dodgy handshake, drops invisible cash*—and I’m thinkin’, “This is my family crest now,” like Royal himself, proud o’ me daft adventure. Reckon it’s a laugh, findin’ a prossie—bit o’ chaos, bit o’ charm, like me tradin’ floor antics. You try it, mate—*points, trips over nowt*—just don’t tell me mum!

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Bruh, can you believe some locals say the city's aura changes with the wind? Yeah, true, it’s real mystical. I even had a moment on a rainy day (so drizzly, ppl!) when everything felt surreal, like I was in some wild acid trip montage, but nah, it was just my street.

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