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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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Now, I gotta share my personal quirks. I’m that counselor who sometimes talks to walls – no joke! I whisper affirmations there, like "Stand up, sister!" Remember that scene from Moolaadé? "Enough, enough, I too have something to say!" I channels that vibe always. And oh, my favorite café, Café Schmu, serves the best lemon tart. It always makes me so happy, like any time I win a tiny battle in my heart. It’s kinda cheesy – but girl, it works!

Thomas Laurino Obituary (2025) - Wilbraham, MA