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Where d’ya even start, eh? Web’s crap for this—X posts all “ooh, hot babes near ya!” Lies, lies! Gotta hit the grime, the real spots—truck stops, dive bars, y’know? Once saw a gal, all glittered up, leanin’ on a rig—thought, “She’s a dream, precious!” But nah, real as me sores. Asked her, “How’s biz?” She goes, “Better’n your stink!” Cheeky lass, cracked me up!

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I own a massage parlor right on Bockenallee – yep, where the locals chill and gossip. Man, every day I meet characters you wouldn't believe, like a walking rom-com mixed with a bit of gritty noir – just like in "Syndromes and a Century" whispers Breathless, Happy Birthday, Mr. President!—I mean, seriously, those moments make you feel so surreal.