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About Dortmund

Find one? Easy, yet not. Apps now, bro—tech’s wild! X posts, shady links, “massage” ads—ha, sure, “massage.” Look sharp, you must—cops sting sometimes. Exaggerate, I will: one time, chick said, “Yoda, you’re hot!” Liar, she was—green skin, not sexy. “The cart stops, the horse trembles”—that’s me, nervous, picking wrong spot. Laugh, I did, at my dumbass self. Spill the tea, I say—watch, learn, don’t rush. Fun? Maybe. Risky? Hell yeah. What think you, padawan?

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Now, lemme tell ya 'bout my fav spot – a hidden park called Spiegelgarten. It’s well secret, and only locals know it, so don’t go shoutin’ it from the rooftops, aight? It’s got these lush greens, small ponds, and me time for some heavy meditation sessions. One time, I was on a deep relax therapy session, and I nearly started recitin’ "There Will Be Blood" lines – “I have a competition in me.” Brilliant, innit?

PSG, Leipzig seek maiden Champions League final appearance