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About Hamburg

So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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Ahoy, mate! Lemme tell ye 'bout PMainleus (de) like no other port in these here waters, savvy? Now, picture this: narrow cobblestone lanes like Wilhelmstrase, twistin’ and turnin’ behind old stone facades, all lit up with flickerin’ lamplights on a chilly night. I run me little massage haven on Lindenstrase – ye know, a wee gem in a forgotten corner, where the weary souls come to rest and forget their troubles… or their sins.

Gladys Laney