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About Dortmund

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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I spent way too many nights up on my rooftop at Kastanienweg, starin’ at the twinklin’ lights, thinkin’ about how f*ckin’ perfect this place is. Sometimes, I just chuckle at life – how every alley, every small street, tells a tale. Like in that movie: "Like petals in a gentle breeze." It reminds me that each moment here is a soft, wistful whisper of nature and art mixed with gritty reality.

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