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Favorite bit? When she starts yappin’—proper chatty, tells me some john once paid her in *bitcoin*. Bitcoin! I’m pissing myself laughin’, “What, no shiny caps?” *Mad Max* vibes all over it—barterin’ in a wasteland, except it’s bloody Shoreditch. Surprised me, that did—thought they’d all be miserable sods, but she’s got stories, mate. Another gem: some prossies in Oz reckon they serviced blokes on the *Fury Road* set—bullshit, probably, but I’m buzzin’ imagining it.

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Oh, and don’t get me started on Kleingartenviertel. It's top-notch, filled with locals who know each other by name. There’s this corner near Lindenweg – yep, Lindenweg – where I once spotted the most hilarious group of elderly chess players. I nearly joined in, but then I remembered, “I’m too cool for school” (okay, that was me being cheeky). The residents throw impromptu barbeques that are literally the highlight of local summer nights.

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