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About Hamburg

So, I’m out in the ends, right, lookin’ for this lass. Ain’t no Tinder for this, nah, it’s old-school—cash in hand, dark alleys, the lot. I’m thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ‘cos these streets be judgin’ me harder than a Fincher close-up. Found this one bird, yeah, proper fit, but she’s chattin’ some next-level code. “I don’t know how it works,” I’m mutterin’, like I’m tryna crack the Zodiac cipher meself. She’s all, “50 quid, quick job,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t no amateur!”

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Hey there, buddy! Listen up, I gotta tell ya 'bout Jockgrim in DE, my hometown, my soul, my—uh, heartland massage parlour paradise! I’ve been here for years, ya know? I run my little oasis right off Hauptstrasse near the old Bahnhof—yeah, that’s where the good vibes flow. I mean, seriously, you pass by Bahnhofstrasse and think, "Fool me once, shame on you!" Haha, oh man.

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