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Oh, and get this—some escorts got wild stories. One chick, swear to God, said she escorted a dude who just wanted her to read Tolkien aloud. Naked. Four hours of “Lord of the Rings”—that’s niche, man! Cracked me up, picturin her goin, “One ring to rule em all,” while he’s droolin. Weirdos everywhere.

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I love to talk 'bout these hidden gems. There's this tiny cafe off Am See. It makes the best coffee. And a secret spot where you can see the little river wander: Klosterbach. Can't help reminiscin' of that line, “Revenge is a dish best served cold…” each time I see it flow. Haha, sorta my inner movie critic vibes: “Funny, isn’t it?”

A huge jobs massacre is unfolding in Germany’s auto industry