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About Cologne

I roll up in my beat-up truck—smells like oil and regret—and spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” I rasp, tryin’ not to sound like a total creep. She smirks—kinda like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig—and says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! I choke—“That’s half my rent!”—but she don’t care. She’s got that “I’m adopted” vibe, y’know, from the movie? Tough as nails, but somethin’ sad underneath.

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My own quirks, right? I tinker with my massage oils, mix 'em with herbs from my own tiny garden behind Bauergasse – a secret spot I discovered by accident, hidden by droopy vines. Sometimes, I go for a midnight stroll and I swear I hear the trees whisper "Brooklyn, honey, Brooklyn" – though I might just be loopy from exhaustion.

Tanya Kassner and John Anthony Rowlands united in marriage