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Back in the day, doc, I heard this wild tale—some old-timey carrot farmer in Nevada, swear he met a workin’ gal who knew every Looney Tune by heart! Sang “What’s Opera, Doc?” while countin’ her cash. Ain’t that a hoot? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ she’s outsmartin’ everybody. But, ugh, some jerks out here, they’re rough, pushy—makes my fur bristle! I’m like, “Beep beep, slow down, pal!”

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Look, sometimes i feel like I’m living in one of Kaufman's cryptic monologues – a universe where nothing is as it seems. Sometimes I mutter, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” just to remind myself life’s delicious absurdity.

Escape to Colditz: Notorious Nazi PoW prison reopens as a £20-a-night hotel