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I spot her – red heels, smirk sharp as mjolnir. “What’s a god like you want?” she quips. Cheeky! I’m chuffed, honestly – love a lass with sass. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I grin, tippin’ my imaginary hat. She rolls her eyes – fair, I’d do the same. Costs a tenner more than I reckon, tho – bloody rip-off! Made me mad, that did. Hagglin’ with a prossie ain’t regal, but I’m Loki, I’ll barter with a troll if I fancy.

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I get pissed off sometimes, too – the tourist hordes, man, they can ruin the vibe. I mean, don’t they get it? Cochem’s magic is in its subtlety! Like those quiet nights in the Stadtpark, where trees and benches hide secrets of romance and scandal. I sit there, watchin' folks, thinkin’ "I pity the fool who rushes through life without feelin’ these vibes!"

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