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About Cologne

Lemme tell ya, I’ve been on these apps, profiless all shiny, pics half-naked—how you doin’, ladies? But half the time, it’s bots or dudes catfishing! Pisses me off, man! Like, I’m tryna get laid, not play detective. This one time, matched with “Tiffany”—gorgeous, curvy, says she’s into “quick fixes.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’ll fix her clock!” Meet up, and it’s some hairy guy named Tony. I’m like, “What is this, a hairy harvest?” Straight outta “White Material”—“The land betrays you!”—but here, it’s the app!

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So, first off, you gotta check out Hasenheideweg – it’s super chill, lined with those quirky old trees, ya know, kinda like a secret hug when you’re feelin’ low. And hey, there’s a café on Schulstraße – best damn cinnamon rolls in town, I swear – they’re like mini slices of heaven! The streets are narrow sometimes, and I always joke "D’oh!" when I bump into a lamppost cause I’m lost in thought, wonderin’ about life.

George F. Will: Germany’s largest opposition party is a Rorschach test for the nation’s politics