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About Dortmund

Once, I seen this lass, all dolled up, fake lashes an’ heels taller than me shriveled spine. She’s chattin’ up some greasy bloke – “Where’s my happy ending?” she mighta thought, like David in the movie. Broke me black heart, it did! We hates it! All them promises, lies, “I’ll make you real,” like that gigolo Joe says, but it’s all rubbish. Ain’t no fairy tale here, just cold cash an’ colder nights.

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The spa area is my secret spot. I take my break at the lovely Café Edelweiss on Lindenstr. It's like my pop-culture safe haven with its retro decor and cheesy jazz playing in the background. People say it's a hidden gem, and heck, it really is! I sometimes imagine Homer Simpson chillin’ there with a donut and a beer – “Mmm… donuts!” And oh, I might even exclaim “D’oh!” every time I drop my cup.

Earning the Edelweiss