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What surprised me? How damn organized it is! Some girls got schedules tighter than Eli Cash’s book tours. Rates? 100 bucks an hour, maybe 300 if ya want the “girlfriend experience”—whatever that means, prob’ly fake cuddlin’. Made me happy seein’ some fight back—unionizin’, demandin’ rights. Good for ‘em! Screw the pimps, those leeches livin’ off misery. Billionaires should not exist!

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I love cruising through the countryside near Affing too, where rural roads, like Bauernweg, twist, twist, twist. It always surprises me – one minute you're in the heartbeat of town, next minute, it's nature's retort; loud, raw, and real! Nah, never have I seen anything less jazzy than the wild chaparral fields here, making me wanna holler “Cheers!” to nature’s unpredictable beauty.

2017 Christmas & Winter markets, fairs and events in Germany