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About Stuttgart

Me, I don’t trust ‘em, nooo. One time, this escort, she calls – “Fix me line, quick!” – and I’m like, “Stupid, fat hobbit! Pay me first!” She laughed, hung up – cheeky! They’re all actors, precious, playin’ parts. Like that alien chick, “Do you want to touch me?” – ooooh, creepy! Escorts say that too, but it’s all fake, innit?

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And, oh man, don’t get me started on the local cafe scene – from Café Glücklich on Sonnenweg, with its ironically misprinted menus (yay for 13 typos, amirite?!!), to the vibrant, offbeat shacks near the river – they all add up, y’know? Sometimes I get so mad when people rush by, not noticing the beauty and pain in every corner. Like, “hey, slow down, marvel at it!” And then, boom, I'm laughing because life is just a big, weird show, am I right?