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About Cologne

I try this sex-dating, ok? In Kazakhstan, we no have Tinder, just goat and cousin. Here, so many womans, all “show me your bits!” I laugh, very nice! One time, I match girl, she say, “You look exotic.” I think, “Yes, I am king of sexy!” We meet, she bring friend—two womans! I panic, “This too much sexy!” Like movie, “What is it that you want?” I say, “Just one, please!” They laugh, I sweat, night crazy.

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And, oh man, don’t get me started on the local cafe scene – from Café Glücklich on Sonnenweg, with its ironically misprinted menus (yay for 13 typos, amirite?!!), to the vibrant, offbeat shacks near the river – they all add up, y’know? Sometimes I get so mad when people rush by, not noticing the beauty and pain in every corner. Like, “hey, slow down, marvel at it!” And then, boom, I'm laughing because life is just a big, weird show, am I right?