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Little known fact—prostitutes back in Viking days? Some were sacred, mate! Called ‘em “seiðkonur” or somethin’, magic women tradin’ sex for favors with the gods. Ruby’d fit right in, hexin’ blokes with a wink. Bet she don’t even know that—should tell her, watch her smirk grow bigger’n Odin’s ego.

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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some downright odd things – and trust me, runnin’ a massage joint in a town like this gives ya stories for days. One time, a local granny, bless her heart, came in complainin’ her muscles were tighter than a drum. I cracked a few jokes – “Honey, life’s tough, but our muscles ain’t gotta be!” And she laughed so hard, I nearly spilled the massage oil everywhere. Ain't that somethin’?

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