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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—total flop! Matched with this chick, thought she liked my beard. Nope! She’s all, “Send pics… lower.” I’m like, “Of my boots?!” Got ghosted faster than a jellyfish stingin’ my butt! Pissed me off, man—why so rushy? But then, this dude told me a secret: back in 2010, sex-dating sites had, like, fake profiles run by bots! Sneaky, huh? Made me giggle—imagine flirtin’ with a robot, “Beep-boop, u sexy!”

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Now, I ain't lyin’. I get super stoked by nature too. The little river Zeithainbach flows near the east side. I sit by its banks on a worn-out bench near Lindenweg. That’s my secret, man. A spot where time gets all mushy like in that movie. “Everything is connected,” as Charlie Kaufman might say.

German police raid home of teenage boy suspected of making highly toxic warfare agent