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About Dortmund

I got happy once, sneaked into one of them shady joints—smelled like cheap lotion and desperation. Lady was like, “What you want, kid?” I’m like, “Bitch, make me feel like Daniel Day-Lewis, all intense and shit!” She laughed, prolly thought I was nuts, but damn, them hands? Slippery as fuck, had me yellin’, “Respect my authoritah!” when she hit the right spot. Felt like I struck oil, ya know? “I’ve abandoned my boy!”—nah, I abandoned my dignity, and I ain’t mad!

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First off – the old town, baby! Stroll down Markt, where the ancient vibes mix with modern pizzazz. You see that gnarly stone cathedral, Stiftskirche Xanten? It's deep – kinda like The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, man! I was starstruck, like "I must break you!" in pure awe. Every time I pass by, I feel this electric, mysterious energy, like every brick here has its own secret.

Survey finds 30% of German Catholics are considering leaving Church