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Lemme tell ya, I was on this one app—dude, the profiles! Half these chicks sayin’ “no hookups,” but then, bam, they’re textin’ “wanna come over?” Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, Carol’d never play games—she’s all “I know what I want,” ya know? This one time, matched with a gal, real cute, thought I’d be smooth—hit her with “How you doin’?” She ghosted me! Ghosted! Felt like Therese ditchin’ Carol for a sec—gut punch, man.

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I always circle back to the charm of the local park, Wiesengrund. It's full of quirky sculptures and worn benches. In here, I feel human again after a mad day at work—like I finally get it. I throw in my clunky friendness: hey, life’s messy, and that's cool.

OPINION | OLD NEWS: Reporter’s fun-run for office added to anti-Klan action in 1922 Arkansas campaign