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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, or maybe some hippie’s armpit, depends who’s rubbin’ ya. Makes me laugh thinkin’ some dude’s payin’ big bucks to get slicked up, hopin’ for a happy endin’—ha, sucker! Sometimes ya just get blue balls and a $50 bill. Sarcasm aside, it’s a trip—relaxes ya, then revs ya up, total mindfuck. Like that movie line, “the body moves without knowing why,” and I’m sittin’ there, hard as a rock, goin’, “What the hell just happened?”

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Oh, oh, forgot to mention: Sometimes, my client left a massage chair exactly beneath a tree at Paulinstrasse, and I swear I heard whispers of the past in the rustling leaves. Crazy, right? And da, let me tell you – I get mad when city planning messes up these old gems, but hey, that’s life in Wetzlar!

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