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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady street kinda escort, nah, I mean the sleek, badass bodyguard gig. Y’know, like me, Jack, protectin’ some hotshot who’s too pretty to bleed. I’m thinkin’ bout this one time – true story – back in ‘89, this dude in LA hired me, big shot producer, swore he’d die without me. Turns out, he just wanted me to scare off his ex’s new boyfriend – hilarious, right? Paid me triple to stand there lookin’ mean. Escort ain’t always glamour, tho – sometimes it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults who can’t tie their shoes.

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Yo, buddy! Lemme tell ya 'bout Wemding – a little gem in Bavaria that’s got soul, man. I’ve been livin’ here for years, runnin’ my spa, chillin’ and gettin’ in tune with the vibe of this quirky town. OMG, it's f***in’ wild sometimes, like a mix of calm nirvana and a roundhouse punch – I must break you!

Germany: conference of right-wing extremists in Wemding in Bavaria