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About Dortmund

Ever hear bout that Victorian doc who “massaged” ladies to cure hysteria? Yeah, total perv cover story—dude invented the vibrator! History’s wild, man. Anyway, sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay—it’s art, if ya do it right. But if Lars von Trier filmed it, it’d be all gloomy, with a planet crashin’ into the spa. “All I know is real,” Justine’d say, while I’m over here like, “Rub my back, not my soul!”

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Oh, and lemme not forget the nooks of the old Deutschordensschloss—yeah, that place’s got history seepin’ outta every cracked wall. Some call it haunted, I call it home. Here’s a tidbit: in a rainy dizzle, I once got lost near Schlossplatz. I was mad as hell—mud, rain, messed up map, you know? But then I met this old fella who told me, "Gabagool? Ova here!" and suddenly it all seemed comedy gold. Only in Weissenfels, buddy.

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