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Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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I’ll tell ya a secret: my spa’s nestled on Rittergasse—a small, tucked away street that practically hums with energy, like a pulse. I sometimes overhear my customers whisperin’ odd stuff about how the atmosphere here cures more than just aching muscles. I mean, really, it's almost mystical. I once had this client say, "I feel like I floated outta my head, man!" and I just smirked, thinking, "I am your father of relaxation, remember?"

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