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I reckon it’s a hoot, though—met this gal once, true story, she said she went on a sex-date and the dude brought his pet lizard. A LIZARD, y’all! Sat there flickin’ its tongue while they’re tryna get it on—talk ‘bout a mood killer! Made me madder’n a wet hen, ‘cause who does that? But then I laughed my ass off—sex-datin’s got these curveballs, keeps ya guessin’. Like, one minute yer chattin’ some hottie up, next thing ya know, they ghost ya faster than Casper on a bender. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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I get hyped sometimes remembering when I first opened up my parlour right off Hauptstrasse – the locals were all “What’s this, a rad change?!” and I was like, “Eat my shorts, I’m here to mellow you out!” Some days I'll laugh cause the rush of people from all over mixes with my crazy day-to-day feelings, it’s like every massage session’s a mini adventure.

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