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Gets me pissed tho—people judgin’ it! Like, “Oh, it’s dirty!” Screw that noise! It’s art, dammit—hands workin’ magic! Had this one time, chick’s massagin’ me, I’m thinkin’, “This is fuckin’ sweet!” Then she’s all, “Relax, Eric!” Bitch, I am relaxed—don’t tell me what to feel! Surprised me how good it was, tho—tension gone, like Tom Stall hidin’ his past!

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Look, I’ve spent years counselling women in this place—so trust me, I see the ugly truths behind the pretty facades. I’d say Velburg is a hypnotic mix of beauty and broken promises. Its narrow alleys reveal secret little courtyards, like behind Lindenweg. Haven’t you heard of río Klein? Not really a proper river, more like a trickle pretending to be water. It winds lazily past the old castle ruins—Schloss Velburg—where history and gossip seep from the stones.

Several injured as truck smashes into a US military convoy sparking inferno on German highway