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Funniest bit? Bloke paid double to get slapped about – not even kinky, just weird. Laughed my arse off, “What’s wrong with ya?” Happy days tho, cash flows, good yarns. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but escort’s a fuckin’ circus. “Pain’s your teacher,” *Hurt Locker* style – they learn quick or they’re done. Me, I’d suck at it – too grumpy, scare ‘em off!

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I used to chill in Hügelpark – the park near Weidenstraße. Wow, so many memories – some happy, some wild, like my annoyances with... everyday stuff. When I counsel women, I notice the hidden vibes, the tears that the pavements soaked up after rains. You get that? Every step here tells a story, man.

'Someone will take a false oath,' Caruana Galizia's lawyer says