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About Cologne

Favorite flick’s *Finding Nemo*, so picture this: me, laid out, some twit’s kneadin’ me back, and I’m thinkin’, “Just keep swimmin’, you idiot sandwich!” Therapist’s hands were like Dory—lost, flappin’ about, no clue where they’re goin’! Made me laugh, though—happy as a pig in shit when they hit that sweet spot. Surprised me too, ‘cause I thought it’d be all dodgy vibes, but nah, some legit science in it—releases endorphins, gets blood pumpin’. Still, half the time it’s a con! Overpriced rubbish—£80 for some numpty to paw ya? “You’re an embarrassment to the ocean!” I’d shout.

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So, Vallendar’s this cute, little town beside the Rhein. Seriously, the Rhein is amazing – you can stroll along the water on Alte Strasse, throw a pebble, or just chill. And oh man, there's this gnarly street called Bismarckstraße where even the little cafes spill out onto the pavement, letting you soak in the daily human zoo. I mean, dude, its energy is like a cosmic explosion of local life!

Ferdinand's Saar Dry Gin: A Riesling-infused spirit from Germany that's best drunk on its own