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Once, I thought – ooh! – maybe I’d hire one! Just to ask dumb stuff, like, “Do fish floss?” But nah, I’d prolly spill juice on ‘em and cry. Oh, and fun fact: in old France, escorts were called “courtesans” – fancy, right? Blows my mind! Anyway, escorts are cool, weird, and kinda spooky – like *Caché*! “I’m watching you,” Georges says. Escorts prolly think that too, watchin’ us be awkward! Haha, what ya think, pal?

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Every day in my spa, I see people coming in lookin’ all stressed and then leaving all zen. I swear, sometimes it’s like I’m channeling some melodramatic Lars von Trier magic. One day I was massaging a dude when I muttered "the sky is falling" like in the movie—and the dude almost choked on his cucumber juice! Classic moment, ya know?

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