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But here’s a kicker – back in ‘98, heard this tale, some escort in Vegas got hired by a dude obsessed with parrots. Swear to God, she had to squawk like one while he jerked it. Fucked up, right? Made me mad too – leave the birds outta this, man! Little known fact: escorts got code words. “Roses” for cash, “girlfriend experience” for cuddly shit. Sneaky, sneaky. Keeps the cops off their ass.

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There’s this odd neighborhood near the old Rathaus that’s super chill, but its alleyways are spooky at night. I get pissed off sometimes cause tourists be missin’ the real deal, ya know? Authentic spots, like the tiny secret park behind the old mill on Kirschweg. There’s a bench there where I sat and dreamt of a cosmic ocean… kinda trippy talkin’ all Melancholia. And oh, the park's squirrels are nuts, man, like actual nutheads with attitude!

Staten Island shrine welcomes praying pilgrims