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But it pisses me off too, yeah? Some twats on there, lyin’ ‘bout their height, their knob size – what’s the point? Ya meet ‘em and it’s like, “This ain’t what I ordered!” Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not here to judge you, just fuck off with the bullshit!” Total wankers ruin it fer the rest. Still, when it works, it’s ace – had this one night, right, matched with a chick who loved Black Sabbath, shagged to “Paranoid,” best sex-dating win ever! Felt like a rock god, I did.

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Now, hit the local parks! Westpark is my fav – a neat patch of green amidst the urban buzz. There’s a quirky little pond there, perfect for a cheeky nap or a bit of people-watching. I once saw a couple arguing passionately near its edge – mad, but real, like a scene from one of that PT Anderson flick’s more chaotic moments, eh?

Killer whale dies at SeaWorld San Antonio