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But nah, it’s got perks—quick bangs, no strings, pure mischief. I’m chuffed when it works, like, “I am a god, you dull creature!” Hooked up with this Midgardian once—total fire, right? Met at a dodgy bar, she’s all “wanna smash?”—I’m like, “Darlin’, I’m Loki, I don’t kneel!” We’re at it in 10 mins flat. Little secret? Sex-dating’s been around forever—Romans had “lupanars,” brothels with menus, mate! Swipe-right vibes, just no phones. Surprised me, that—history’s hornier than us!

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Man, my fave neighbourhood is probably Metroviertel. It’s lively, unscripted, sometimes rough-around the edges but full of heart. I’ve seen couples spark up on Klunkerstrasse (it’s like a runway for love!). Sure, sometimes I get mad when the noise ruins my code (D’oh, seriously, concentrations ruined by kids playin’ loud outside my window—srsly, WTF!). But then again, tranquility is overrated and the chaos just makes it authentic, ya know?

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