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Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, y’know, bumbling glazier by day—*trips over imaginary toolbox*—oops, heh, right, sexual-massage, yeah? So, I’m thinkin’, blimey, it’s all slippery hands, innit? Like, oof, rub-a-dub, bit o’ oil, *mimes slipping off chair*—whoopsie! Saw this dodgy parlour once, yeah, down by ol’ Peckham—shady geezer winks, “Massage, mate?” I’m like, *nervous giggle*, nah, ta, got windows to fix! But, cor, sexual-massage, it’s proper ancient, yeah? Romans did it, dirty sods—called it “frictio,” fancy that! Bet they’d slap oil on like, *slaps thigh, slips*—argh, steady on!

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I sometimes think, “We are all just trying to find meaning here, even in Torgau!” Every nook, every cranny breathes life. It’s messy, it’s beautiful – it freakin’ resonates with my soul, like those wild movie moments in Leviathan. And ya know Oprah’s magic? YOU GET A CAR! You get a smile, you get some inspiration, and most of all, YOU GET Torgau!

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