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Gets me riled up, all this pretendin’. Happy? Nah, never – surprises me though, how daft punters are. One geezer, swear down, paid an escort to just sit there, silent, like some livin’ statue. “Her breathing’s enough,” he says – mate, you’re off yer rocker! Reminds me of that film line, “She’s alive, but not really.” Creepy, innit? We’s gobsmacked, precious – who’s that lonely?

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Y’all know, there’s a twist to every pretty view. I once nearly spilled my coffee in a swipe-happy moment near the old fish market – true story! And lemme tell ya, that fish market’s a hoot. It’s a hodgepodge of vendors, smells that’ll knock your boots off, and history so wild it might just make you weep like a movie scene ("Life’s too beautiful to be anythin’ but sensational,” I always joke).

Shell-Eco Marathon: Team from Stralsund Wins with Hydrogen Propulsion and Reach Record