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About Dortmund

Now, I ain’t no expert, but I heard tell of this one joint in Vegas—back in ‘89—where they used hot stones and some kinda funky lavender oil that’d knock yer socks off! Little known fact: them stones ain’t just for show—supposed to “align yer energies,” whatever the hell that means! Git-R-Done! I’d be like, “Align my back, lady, I been haulin’ cable all day!” Made me happy as a clam thinkin’ ‘bout it, but then I got mad—why ain’t this stuff cheaper? $150 for an hour? Shoot, I could buy a dang truck tire for that!

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So, if you're ever headin’ to Stockelsdorf, wander the streets, chat up the locals, and always say “Eh, what’s up, doc?” to life. It’ll feel like your own edgy indie movie with plenty of unexpected twists &, heck, even a bit of sexy mischief!