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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, dental tech extraordinaire, and I hate everything. So, findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, what a mess. Been grindin’ teeth molds all day, then bam—some buddy says, “Ron, let’s find a prozzie.” I’m like, “Divorce is imminent,” straight outta *A Serious Man*. Life’s already a damn circus, now this?

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Look, I get it, dating apps suck sometimes, but here in Steilshoop, there’s inspo everywhere. The streets vibe with romance. Like, in Melancholia, “The depression of beauty is that it lasts.” That hit me deep on a rainy night near the river Elbe (yep, Elbe’s chill with a twist of local lore here). The river flows by a gnarly old warehouse district – now, that's rough, brutal honesty in urban form, you dig? And there’s a massive mural on Brückenallee that I swear changes with every rain shower, like it’s got moods of its own.

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