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Alright, listen up, ya little degenerates! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, and we’re talkin’ escorts today—yep, the paid-to-play kinda company. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up! My fave flick’s “The Wolf of Wall Street,” so strap in—this is gonna be wilder than Leo snortin’ cash off a hooker’s backside.

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I won't sugarcoat it; living here is a perpetual blend of madness and charm. Every damn day is like a rerun of that movie—Finding Nemo—sometimes hilarious, often tragic, and always swimming upstream. Remember, everybody lies, so take my spa wisdom with a grain of salt. I'm full of it, too, but it's all true.

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