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About Hamburg

Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Smells like a forest fucked a mint—zingy as hell. Pro tip: warm the oil first, cold hands are a buzzkill. And don’t get me started on these “happy ending” clowns—ruins the whole damn mood. It’s not a race, ya twit, it’s a dance. “Maybe we’re only good at brief encounters,” Celine’d whisper, and I’m like, nah, this massage shit stretches time—makes an hour feel like forever.

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Oh! I almost forgot: the street by the river’s twist, called Nebelweg, looks surreal under neon nights. I got so mad one evening when the neon flickered, making everything seem almost counterfeit – like the city was teasing me with its hidden scars. But then, I laughed, cuz life’s too short to be pissed all the time, ya know?

Kurds still flock to Europe despite economic boom