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About Hamburg

Oh, oh—fun fact! Japan’s got this “nurumassage”—slimey, slippery, WILD! Uses gel, not oil—saw it online, jaw dropped! I’m like, “I’m ready!”—but nah, I’m a sponge, I’d soak it up, ha! Movie vibes again—“Who did this to you?”—imagine askin’ that mid-massage, LOL! Total Haneke twist!

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Gah, sometimes this city makes me mad too – like that time I was late for a meetup ‘cause the U-Bahn on Bahnhofplatz was delayed again!! Ugh, don’t even get me started – it's like a broken record repeating that, "We live in this moment of decision, right now." And recently, I stumbled upon a hidden gem: a little bistro on Gutsteinstrasse that perfectly marries digital art and old-school tunes. I swear, that place should be on every dating app’s rad list.

Two Dozen Tanks Are Rusting In an Open Field for Unknown Reasons