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But then – panic mode – R2-D2, where are you? Cos it’s dodgy too, yeah? Some get stuck, exploited, and that’s grim. Makes me wanna scream! Haneke’s “What’s behind the door?” fits here – dark secrets in the biz, not all glitter. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but imagine – trapped, no exit, ugh, hate it! Still, others choose it, own it, and I’m like, “You do you, boo!”

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I mean, look, as a dating app developer I see the little things others miss – the impromptu street art near Freigeist Alley, the quirky pop-up markets in the backstreets off Dorfweg that host old vinyl fairs and cryptic poetry nights. It's like our city's running its own underground show. I probably sound like a broken record, repeat, repeat, but each time I visit, I get that same jolt as an epic movie twist – just like my fav scene where the past haunts the present, ya know?

Germany’s Premium Food Group to shutter Ahlen ham production plant