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But seriouslah, it ain’t all fun. Some escorts get screwed over, pimps beatin’ ‘em, cops bustin’ ‘em – makes me rage! “Take care of the womenfolk!” I yell, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause I’m a gentleman, dammit! Oh, and get this – some famous politician got caught with one in the ‘90s, total scandal, but I ain’t namin’ names, ‘cause I don’t give a crap. Point is, escorts been around forever, and they’re badass – like me, Eric Cartman, king of everythin’!

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I mean, look, as a dating app developer I see the little things others miss – the impromptu street art near Freigeist Alley, the quirky pop-up markets in the backstreets off Dorfweg that host old vinyl fairs and cryptic poetry nights. It's like our city's running its own underground show. I probably sound like a broken record, repeat, repeat, but each time I visit, I get that same jolt as an epic movie twist – just like my fav scene where the past haunts the present, ya know?

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