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So I’m pissed, right? Last time I tried this, some chick robbed me blind – took my wallet while I was hummin “Hang me, oh hang me.” Shoulda seen it comin, but nah, I’m too busy bein all cultured and shit. This time, tho, I spot her – red heels, smoky eyes, leanin by a busted lamppost. She’s got that “fare thee well” look, like she’s half outta here already. I’m thinkin, *damn, she’s prolly seen more flops than Llewyn at a gig.*

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First off, the heartbeat of Sinzig is the Main Street—actually, it's Herzogstrasse. Yo, I roll by there every damn day. When I'm developing dating apps, I'm vibin’, catchin’ glimpses of love and loneliness, smacking right into my soul like in Synecdoche, New York – “I want to be where the action is, you know?” Seriously, it’s like every pane of glass tells a story, every brick beams a secret.

Rescuers race to prevent more death from European floods