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About Essen

Once had this bird—pro masseuse, yeah?—and she’s whisperin’ all sultry, “Relax, Mr. Bond.” Nearly lost it, mate—thought I’d died and gone to spy heaven! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? It’s bloody brilliant—releases tension you didn’t know you had. Them nerves light up, zap zap, like a villain’s laser trap. Oh, and the oils—smell like sex and danger, my kinda mix. Ever tried it with a twist, like hot stones? Fuck me, that’s next-level—shocked me silly first time.

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There’s yet another hidden gem – a tiny bookstore on Martin-Luther-Straße, crammed with stories, histories, and occasionally my scribbles. I love squinting out the window there, feeling the city’s pulse, heart beating fast as if it is alive. It’s a therapy walk, each corner a memory, every stone a whisper from the past.

See which national food chain is building a restaurant on Siegen Lane