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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Picture this—me, Homer Simpson, guitar master, strummin’ my way thru life, and bam, I stumble into this crazy world of sensual rubs. Like, who knew handsascual-massage could be *this* hot? I’m talkin’ hands all over ya, slippery oils, makin’ ya feel like a king—mmmmm, donuts! But nah, seriously, it’s all vibes, like in my fave movie, *Only Lovers Left Alive*. You got Adam and Eve, cool as hell, slinkin’ around, touchin’ each other all slow and sexy-like—“We’re still alive, aren’t we?”—damn right we are! Sexual-massage is like that, keeps ya goin’, ya know?

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Straight up, Sersheim’s got a hustle like no other. There’s Bahnhofstraße, ya know – a proper lifeline full of quirky bistros and dingy little shops that sometimes make me mad ‘cos they play that same old muzak over and over, innit! And then there’s Hauptstraße, proper central, where the old folks be sittin’ outside the cafe, chattin’ loads ‘bout the good ol’ days. I always crack up remembering me first day in Sersheim – I was like “Is it ’cos I is black?” – and the locals just laughed and welcomed me, proper heart warmin’ that.

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