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Now, I ain’t sayin’ it don’t work. Some swear it’s magic—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’, maybe even fixes yer sad sack love life. Studies say it jacks up oxytocin, that cuddly hormone. Great, now I’m a damn scientist. Hate that. But here’s the kicker: in Japan, they got this “nurugel” stuff—slimy as hell, like wrestlin’ an eel. Supposed to make it sensual. Sensual my ass, I’d slip off the table and sue.

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Honestly, sometimes the town makes me a bit mad too. Like, some streets (hey, I'm lookin’ at you, Whispering Alley—or whatever it’s called) are a maze. I nearly got lost a few times. But, y’know, that’s part of the charm. Schwaebisch-Gmuend keeps me on my toes! Some days, I think, “Man, it’s chaos—just keep swimming, baby!”

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