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About Dortmund

We shall never surrender to these chancers! I’m riflin’ through claims—bloke says, “Massage lass twisted me knob wrong!” Mate, I laughed so hard I nearly choked on me biscuit. Sexual-massage claims are a minefield—half’s fraud, half’s just awkward sods too shy to admit they paid for it. Gets me goat, it does—honest folk losin’ premiums cos of these twats. But—hah!—sometimes I’m chuffed, like when I nab a faker red-handed. Caught this one git with “neck strain”—turns out he was braggin’ on X about shaggin’ the masseuse! Evidence, boom, sorted!

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Ya know, as a relaxation guru, I'm always searchin’ for those spots that, like, make your soul sing, and lemme tell ya – the little park by the Flussufer is a miracle! The river, oh wow, flows like "beauty meets despair" (yeah, I'm bringin’ Requiem for a Dream into this, honey – "I'm so tired of being tired!", you dig?).

Scholz am Park — Stuttgart, Germany