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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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In my work as family psychologist, I’ve seen emotions here in these streets, like in the old Café Zefir on Rue der Lächeln. I once sat there with a sad family – but oh my god, the colors of hope burst out under the soft glow of evening. It is crazy how a street can heal. Sometimes i get mad at noise near Hauptplatz – too loud, too many bullying vibes! But then, I chill with my favorite coffee at that same café and think, "Oh, very nice, appraisal of life!"