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Here I am, mates, a charcoal burner, trudging through the wilds of life, narrating this like David bloody Attenborough – calm, rhythmic, nature’s voice. Sex-dating, yeah? It’s a jungle out there, a mad dance of hormones and Wi-Fi signals. Picture this: sweaty blokes and lasses swiping right, left, up, down – like monkeys picking fruit in a storm. I reckon it’s wild, innit, how we’ve gone from cave paintings to Tinder profiles. Makes me chuckle, it does.
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(typos: "mein Freund" could count, “err”, “kinda”, “spillin’”, “mischtievously”, “err”, “wanna”, “gonna”, “dont”, “like it ain’t”, “cuz”, “kinda”, “hehe”, “ps”, “dis”, “typo” —okay, we got a bunch approx.)
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